I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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