420 ftw
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The struggles of a small town man whore
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
