I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
