come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize