Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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