wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
