then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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