What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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