Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(970): View more from Colorado

He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster

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(847): View more from Illinois

why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.

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(440): View more from Ohio

The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.

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(440): View more from Ohio

He called his prostate his "boner button".

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(248): View more from Michigan

She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%

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(719): View more from Colorado

Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.

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