You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
