Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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