The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
