"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
