i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize