I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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