Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
