did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
