sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
