So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize