Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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