i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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