at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
