doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
