I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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