are you still at the devil's house?
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize