Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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