And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
