like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
