You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
