Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
