belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
