called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
