I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
