Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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