Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize