When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
