STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Small penises have feelings too.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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