obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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