you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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