Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
