I haven't been this sober since birth.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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