it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
