if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
