we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
