Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
