Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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