I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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