remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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