Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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