Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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