i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
