did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
