just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
