i think i have two assholes
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
