I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
