Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
