All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
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