i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize