Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
