garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
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