ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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