I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I can't turn off my feet"
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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