Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
