I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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