I feel great
I just peed on a car
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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