even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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