she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
