I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I showed him my bush... on skype.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
