I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
