He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
