I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
