If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
