Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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