Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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