As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
