I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
