In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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