how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
