The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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